OK. I really thought I was quite well-educated when I started to have children (already 12 years ago). I'll skip over what I didn't know about baby girls (my first child) and go straight to the embarrassing facts I didn't know about baby boys (my second and third kids).
I didn't know that boys get erections before puberty. There, I've said it. The first time I saw my infant son with one of those, I called my husband into the nursery to check it out.
"Well, what's the problem! Good for him!" (Of course a guy would say that!)
"Do you think I should call the pediatrician?"
(Husband stares incredulously at me.) "What the hell for?"
(stammering) "Well, well -- he's not supposed to get those until, like , he's 11 -- right?"
Hilarious laughter follows. And of course, I've never lived down my most ignorant moment. And now I've blogged about it for, theoretically, anybody to know about.
Fastforward to learning to deal with boys when they enter the WORLD OF SPORTS. This means they need to buy an athletic supporter.
Not to be mean, but "supporter"? I mean, nobody at age 9 has that much to "support!" "Protector" would be a better term.
I sent the husband off to buy that. He came back with one labeled for ages 10-14. Wishful thinking is all I'm gonna say.
OK. So yesterday is the game. Husband (who has taken on the task of being score keeper) picks up kid with shirt, baseball pants, bat, glove, baseball shoes, drinks for the team, and supporter in tow. Kid changes in bathroom. Kid has not brought the special underwear that is required to wear with the supporter. Genius husband has also forgotten the item. So kid stuffs supporter in plain old underwear.
You know where this is going -- right?
When it's his turn to bat, he's standing there with his legs pressed together, and bent at the knee, like he desperately needs to pee. He's actually trying to keep the "supporter" from falling down his pants leg.
After his turn at bat is over (second base hit), husband pulls him aside. "Go in the bathroom and just take it out." Son does as told, returning to his father to slap the thing on top of the scorecard, in front of everybody. He is not fazed at all. Not embarrassed at all. Parents are trying VERY hard not to laugh out loud.
Boys. Never boring. At any age. And I'm still learning about them.
About Me
- Elaine
- My interests include veganism and vegetarianism, health, ethics, politics and culture, media, and the environment. I have three kids; I teach college part-time, study piano and attempt to garden. I knit. I blog on just about anything, but many posts are related to my somewhat pathetic quest to eat better, be more mindful of the environment, and be a more responsible news consumer. Sometimes I write about parenting, but, like so many Mommy bloggers, my kids have recently told me not to. :) Thanks for reading.
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Politeness is always appreciated.